Photo by Jelleke Vanooteghem on Unsplash | concert age restriction
Photo by Jelleke Vanooteghem on Unsplash

Did you know that music can help your child learn? It’s one of those things that pop up in the news from time to time, to the point where you can kind of assume, regardless of the specific new science behind it, that yeah, duh, music is good for kids (fund arts education people!).

However, the most recent one I saw did spur another thought in my head, one I think is less explored in the field of concertology (it’s a thing, look it up) (it’s not, please don’t fact check me on that). I’ve seen lots of concerts, parties, DJ sets, etc., advertise their age restriction as “all ages,” which led me to wonder: How far does that actually go?

How young is too young to bring a kid to a concert? Obviously, there’s a line somewhere, but where we draw that line can be a bit fuzzy. But no more. I’ve decided to go ahead and make you a rubric that will help you out with whether you should bring a minor to a concert.

Age 0

This is an infant. Do you really want their brain imprint to be frozen in time on your currently “experimental” music tastes? I didn’t think so. Also, their ears are most prone to damage probably.

Verdict: LEAVE THEM AT HOME. I cannot stress this enough, get a nanny and leave them at home.

Age 1-4

Your toddler is a terror and wouldn’t you want to get away from it instead of bringing it along anyways? Besides, your little angel is very short and we all know how short people get treated at concerts.

Verdict: It’s bad enough that your drunk friends are prone to “accidents,” why compound the issue?

Age 5-10

We’re getting close now. The kid probably won’t recognize good music yet, but at least they can appreciate a good time. If there’s a family-friendly, outdoor-type event going on, this is a good choice. Do not, under any circumstances, take them to an indoor venue. They have a lot of energy and keeping that pent up in a room full of screaming fans might go nuclear.

Verdict: If they’re into the music, great. Bring them. If not, there better be something else around for them to be amused by otherwise you’re in trouble.

Age 11-13

So you thought bringing your kid to a concert would be a progression. Guess what, it’s not. Kids this age might also be in the “don’t go” category. The difference is, back at ages 1-4, the crowd was the menace to the kid. Now the kid is a menace to the crowd. They have their own music tastes now and they will come to regret it later in life, but for now, they’re into their music in a very loud, screechy way.

Verdict: Bring them, but… do you know another adult who’ll take them to that concert they HAVE to go to? That’s your only hope.

Age 14-16

Okay, there’s a chance your teenager will have good taste in music by now and will be into the concert experience. Problem is, they’re not into you. This is an issue for the parents among us. If the child you’re dealing with is like a younger cousin or something, this’ll be chill. Just know that you’re responsible for them, both morally and legally.

Verdict: Bring them to the concert. If you’re a parent, you already know you’re responsible for them. For anyone who isn’t though, you basically are now for the duration of the night.

Age 17-18

At this age they think they know everything, don’t they? They don’t, but honestly, they’re going to make their own mistakes whether you like it or not. Hopefully, you didn’t damage them in their formative years (like by taking them to a concert as an infant) so they make good choices now. Beyond this age, they’ll be going to 18+ concerts anyways regardless of what you want. If they do want to go to a concert with you though, bring them! It’ll be a great moment when you head for the 21+ area and laugh while you leave them behind.

Verdict: They can’t get alcohol in the venue right? Parenting at its finest. Bring them to that concert!

There you go. That’s how it works. No more worrying, I’ve got you covered. Please direct all compliments, gratitude, and praise to our Twitter.