Recently, Mixmag released the manifesto of their digital editor Funster entitled “Why Farting on the Dance Floor Should Be Banned in Clubs.” In it, the author describes an unholy experience as a personal assault on all human sensibilities deserving of an inquisition and tribunal to find and punish the perpetrator. Judgement day is upon the club!
I’m here to defend the oft-maligned, humble fart. It has its place both in society and on the dance floor.
1) Farting is a normal, healthy bodily function.
Believe it or not, there’s a reason we fart. Farting is not just a built-in defense mechanism that we humans release when we want to do harm. In fact, it helps relieve gastro-intestinal distress and ensure continued normal bodily function. Holding it in is not super healthy. And it doesn’t release a spray of germs like the more socially-acceptable sneeze. And yet, we sit in judgement of one normal bodily function because… it’s a fart?
2) You’ll get over the smell.
First off, not all farts are smelly, but all are beneficial. Admittedly, some are. But most people are not sociopaths who are intentionally setting off a stink bomb in the middle of the dance floor.
In fact, the author describes the club as “a sacred place” and a place to “release your inhibitions and worries.” If you’re letting loose and really melting away into the experience, sometimes one escapes. It’s okay because you’re in a judgement-free space and the smell is no big deal in the larger sense of things.
Or at least it should be, but Funster is not really helping with that. You know what…
3) Everybody is welcome on the dance floor. Nobody should be judged.
Really. The some of the only unacceptable behavior on the dance floor is standing in judgement of others and believing it’s a zero sum game where someone else’s enjoyment is impinging on your own.
I’m sure Funster meant well with the piece. But let’s be real here, there aren’t that many people who are out there doing it on purpose. And a little toot by accident is no big deal. But judging them and trying to remove them for something somebody’s body does goes against the entire dance floor culture he so worshipped at the beginning of the piece.
My take? Don’t sweat it, it’s just a fart.