Recently, Seattle opened its long-anticipated park honoring guitar legend Jimi Hendrix. The park is full of Easter eggs that relate to Hendrix’s life and accomplishment, including a guitar neck shaped walkway, lyrics etched into the sidewalks, and plaques detailing moments in his story.
That got me thinking, what other artists could we honor with parks, and what would they be like?
Bruce Springsteen
Location: Asbury Park, NJ
Biggest Feature: A stage you can power slide down on your knees and at the end, there’s a camera that will capture a photo of your crotch crashing into it. A great souvenir photo. Probably won’t be seen by over 100 million people though.
U2
Location: Wherever Bono’s most recent project has been
Biggest Feature: When you enter the park, birdseed is immediately stuffed into your pocket so you can enjoy feeding the birds. Doesn’t matter if you wanted it or not, it’s just there. And for some reason, it’s sticky and hard to get rid of.
Calvin Harris
Location: Far away from Taylor Swift
Biggest Feature: A giant statue of that moment of him and Taylor Swift on a giant inflatable pool swan, and the caption “Never Again” as a constant reminder to him of the high-pressure fame he spent the entirety of Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 1 trying to run away from and forget.
The Chainsmokers
Location: A party you don’t want to be at
Biggest Feature: How inexplicably crowded and popular it always is.
The Eagles
Location: Winslow, AZ
Biggest Feature: A great corner for standing on and seeing the fine sights. Oh wait, it already exists.
Biggest Issue: You can check-out any time you like, but you can never leave.
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